The Secret to Conquering Fear + Self-Doubt By The Balls

The Secret to Conquering Fear + Self-Doubt By The Balls

The forces of nature seems to be teaming up against me. Last month I was dealing with burnout, expressed in my latest blog. This month, fear has the nerve to rear it's ugly head in an attempt to disable my efforts of progression. It's nearly sickening! Though this isn't a rant, and more so a depiction of fact and fiction, I had to let those first few lines roll off of my fingers. A little honesty is always soothing to the soul. 

Within the comfort of my humble adobe (my blog), it's my duty to be as transparent as possible, giving you the real and raw -in addition to some untold lessons about kickass writing and entrepreneurship. I'd had another blog scheduled for the day, but my heart was set on this irresistible topic that is overlooked, undermined, and embellished with false notions.

As stated a bit ago, it's mid-April, and I have yet to grasp the gist of my assignment for the month. Progression is always the aim, but even it has a task attached. April will soon close, and as the end draws near, I'm fearful of the fact that my direction will still be unclear! While I've prayed and attempted at meditation (God, did I fail miserably.), I neglected to acknowledge the huge elephant in the room. The beastly thing has been staring me in the face since a few days shy of this Springy month. And Lord behold, it brought along a friend along. 

I'm Mercy, and I'm here to shed light on m journey to conquering fear. 

Mercy B Carruthers, Mercy B, Author Mercy B

Fear: 

noun

  • an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
  • a mixed feeling of dread and reverence.
  • a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone.
  • the likelihood of something unwelcome happening.

verb

  • be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.
  • feel anxiety or apprehension on behalf of.
  • avoid or put off doing something because one is afraid.
Mercy B Carruthers, conquering fear

Google is on to something with the definitions of fear. I, wholeheartedly, stand behind each of them. However, they forgot to mention how it is a crippling agent, how handicapping it can be. It was hinted in the mention of avoiding or putting off a task due to being afraid, but to be more frank... Avoidance can transform overtime. Before noticing, the task is no longer even on the list of things to avoid, and has been placed wherever the other tasks you'll never complete has been stored. 

Fear will keep you grounded, rooted, trembling at the thought of propelling into the greatness that you deserve. That energy-sucker runs rapid through your brain, causing it to demand bullshit assignments from your body, mind, and soul in their entirety. What's even worse is that it's addictive. Fear is ADDICTIVE. When living in fear, you are prepared for whatever, because your expectancy rate is at an all time low.

Your comfort in your current position is welcomed, praised. When you're 'stuck', without the inclination of progress at least in the back of your mind, all is well. Somber. Mellow. Accustomed. You're good right where you are. The feeling is addictive, because everything is according. The moment you begin living in expectancy (in which you should), all hell can break loose. The main reason being is that something, if not everything, can go wrong. South. Downhill. The fear of the fact keeps you where you are, complacent. Motionless

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While I'm not certain which is worst, comes first, or is a cause of the other, I mustn't forget the world renowned companion of fear. Much like fear, it swallows you whole, begging for every ounce of confidence that you've ever mustered, leaving you dry with merely enough strength to seek your next task. It belittles you, chastise even your greatest attributes, causes you to hide, diminish, and becomes the source of your dwindling pride. It's nasty, contagious, and unappreciated. This thing will have you feeling ill-prepared, under-qualified, underserving, and a host of other non-satisfying illusions used in it's deadly concoctions to vanquish your heart's desire. 

self-doubt Mercy B Carruthers

Frankly, I'm not here for either, so I will indulge on the secret to cleaning up both messes, simultaneously. Fear + Self-doubt are often mistaken, camouflaged in many different narratives. I've noticed the lack of time being a favorite. The lack of resources seem to be a favorite as well. The mother of them all is the lack of funds. That one cracks me up, seriously. There are so many other false characteristics they've been given, but I'll stop here for the moment. 

In honesty, we're going about tackling this beast all wrong. Even while feeling that rumbling in our tummies, we're coating the truth with a beautifully polished lie. However, we're fooling no one but ourselves. When we lay to rest, the truth surfaces and the rattling in our chest due to rapid heartbeats is undeniable. It's frightening. 

You're scared, and have every reason to be.

The only difference in you and others who've conquered fear is that they felt it and rolled with it, anyway. The only way to conquer fear is to combat it. You can't combat it until you acknowledge it. This is the latest and greatest two-step that you'll ever learn! 

If only I had a dollar for every time fear attempted to creep into my spirit, I'd be wealthy! Understand that each time we step foot into new territory, the meanest, ugliest voices rear their heads in attempts to talk you down. Let me be the bearer of good news. We're battling the intangible, our thoughts. It's a battle not easily won, being that we've never even seen them. However, it's a battle worth the scar. Whether in entrepreneurship or navigating through life in general, once you understand that YOU'RE the operator of the control room, your armor is secured. At the push of a button, the very thing that was your fear can turn into your fuel! Your doubts transform into your drive. 

Acknowledgment is the #1 secret to conquering fear and self-doubt. Maybe you thought that I'd give a complex list of steps to figuring out how to conquer your fears, but everyone's fears are different. I dare not claim to have the solution to solve them all. Some are deeper, while others are on the surface. Some even steam from past traumas that I can't began to dabble in. Others may simply be stepping out and applying for a better job. Whatever the case is, the secret attack mission begins the same way. Acknowledgment. You can't fix a problem that you haven't acknowledged.

The first step to tackling a problem is admitting that there is one. I'm sure you've heard the saying time and time again, but it's accurate. If you're not ready to admit that the issue exists, then you're not ready to solve it. 

We must not ignore the obvious or sugarcoat the truth. If your nerves are rattled, stomach drops into your shoes, mouth water, fingertips tingle, fidgeting pursues, eyes twitch, smile becomes forged, thoughts scatter, or restlessness occurs at the thought of your 'thing.' It's more than likely due to the doubt that consumes you at the mention or fear swells around your existence. As stated, these gestures are completely normal. At the base of every issue are signs, and these are yours. 

After acknowledging your fears or self-doubt, combating it has a secret of it's own as well. It's considered persistence. At each mention, twitch, or case of scattered brain, you must use the moment of clarity to tackle the suppressed signs, immediately. Openly speak about the fears associated with your task, and discover ways to overcome them. These can be as simple as spoken affirmations or putting action behind the thoughts of depleting fear or self-doubt all together. 

Ex:

  1. As a writer, if you're afraid to write in 1st person after consistently writing in 3rd, consider free writing in 1st person at least once a week.
  2. As a graphic designer, if you're afraid to step into the field of freelance, try offering your services to companies that you can build a working relationship with that need graphics on a consistent basis. Don't be afraid to give the first few designs for free as a foundation of trust. 
  3. As a blogger, if you're afraid to implement more lifestyle topics (and so forth) due to a possible decline in visits/audience size, begin to research trends and the 'in' at the current time. Intertwine them with your lifestyle topics, and continue until you receive the response that you were hoping for. This way when you're ready to write full-out lifestyle blogs, it's not unexpected from your audience. 

In conclusion, I want you to remember that it's not the obstacle that is holding you back. Fear is a hinderance, and who are you not to confront it? As human, we were all given a genius level talent (per Jay Z). How you utilize yours is what differs in you and others just like you. I feel as if God didn't give us the goods to be wasteful. If fear is what you're feeling, what's holding you back, then I speak confidence in your spirit and complete control over your operations -void of self-doubt and any other uncanny forces threatening to keep you from your greatness. 

Hearts below if you agree with even one sentence amongst the words expressed above. Also, share this read with someone who could use a bit of reassurance. 


In an attempt to help you conquer fears threatening our core, I'm offering 30% off my entire site. Use the code 'FUCKFEAR' to grab your goodies!


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